Elf Only Inn

Lord Elf Character's age: 387 Player's age: 30 Race: True Elf Description: Lord Elf is the host of Elf Only Inn. He hates all forms of fiction, except for Tolkien's works. He hates all roleplaying games, except for Dungeons and Dragons. He hates it when other people have fun without him, because it's HIS room after all. Although he is intelligent enough to speak properly and fake a bad medieval dialect, he's not very good at dealing with people. Which, of course, is another reason that he is a perfect host. He thinks he is a gift from the gods, sent down to teach everyone how to have fun his way. He thinks Lady Sunset Autumn Honey Purity Sunflower Rainbow is his woman.
The Blue Wizard of Forestdale Character's age: 1387 Player's age: 30, but that doesn't mean he's Lord Elf. Race: True Elf Description: He's not Lord Elf. Honest. Just because he uses Lord Elf's picture with some obvious editing doesn't mean he is the host in disguise trying to weed out troublemakers from his room. Troublemakers might point out that he uses the same cheezy middle ages lingo, but they are misleading you. Damn troublemakers.
Lady Sunset Autumn Honey Purity Sunflower Rainbow Character's age: 7000 Player's age: Unknown. Either 14 or 61. Race: Star elf. Also a vampire (half) Description: Lady Sunset Autumn Honey Purity Sunflower Rainbow (hereafter referred to as "m'lady") is a star elf vampire, but only half, which means she can still act like a normal person and only drinks blood if there are other vampires around and she wants to fit in. She can also still have babies and go out in the day time, oh, and did I mention she can still have babies? She's probably borne a child from every male character in Elf Only Inn. Not that you'd know that, because she doesn't talk very much, or very well. But that does not take away m'lady's charm, and neither does the fact that her name is excruciatingly long and forgettable. She uses a hot picture of some fantasy chick in her underwear, and that's all that really matters.
!Duke Commando! Character's age: 21 (which means he can drink beer now) Player's age: 17 (which doesn't stop him from drinking beer now) Race: Action Hero Description: Duke Commando likes video games, which he believes makes him an excellent roleplayer. He also likes pornography, which also makes him think he is excellent in more "private" RPs. He doesn't always spell so good, but who cares? He's got ass-kicking Kung-Fu grip action. When he is not trying to get laid or shoot someone, he's out to piss Lord Elf off.
goku666 Character's age: 16 (which means he can drive as well as have a really high power level) Player's age: 13 (which means he likes Dragonball Z more than girls) Race: Varies by spelling. Description: He's like that cool guy from that Toonami TV show, but he's different and has more powers and he's cooler and he could punch you 699 times in one second. But no one ever believes him when he says he has punched them. They should be flying through mountains and stuff, but they don't. Someday people will take him seriously, so he tries his best to impress everyone by being a total pain in the ass. He even lets Duke Commando beat him up so that Duke Commando will like him even though he could punch Duke Commando to the moon with a karate kick because he has trained very hard. He also wants Lord Elf to like him and tell everyone else what a great gamer he is, which will never happen so long as he does not have pointy ears. But he keeps trying, bless his heart. You know who he is. He and his kind use every chat system known to man, whether it is a roleplaying one or not. I swear to God in Heaven, I peeked into the chatsystem once at www.gorillaz.com and yet ANOTHER Prince Vegeta was in there trying to blow up the planet with his 733T SAYAJIN POWERZ!
Nimoy Character's age: 40 Player's age: 25 Race: Vulcan Description: The fact that a Trekkie has so far proven to be the most level-headed person in Elf Only Inn should tell you something. Nimoy isn't actually a very good Trekkie, though. He can't go to the Star Trek chat rooms because he can't keep up with all their lingo and hot naked Klingon women scare him. The other Vulcans think he doesn't behave properly. Deep down he is afraid that he really isn't a Vulcan at all, because he likes girls. But he can never tell them this terrible secret. And besides, someone else already uses a Spock picture everywhere he goes. So he stays in Elf Only Inn for lack of anywhere else to play, and because everyone needs a sarcastic Vulcan hanging around to tell them everything they do is illogical.
Generic Users Description: These people tend to hang out in other chat rooms instead of Elf Only Inn. They think it's weird to assume alternate identities and play out fantasy lives and romances with total strangers--if it's called "roleplaying". Do it in any other chat room and it's all good, baby!. They don't usually upload pictures of themselves, so they are identified by the generic man and woman icons. It's easier for me. Bleh.
The Lord of Dorkness Character's age: As old as sin Player's age: 17 Race: A Big, Red, Source of all Evil. Description: When the Lord of Dorkness signed up and created his profile, he accidentally typed "Dorkness" instead of "Darkness". This is the only reason that he was able to register his profile, due to the fact that every other possible way to refer to the devil had already been taken by his predecessors. On any given chat system, at any given time, in any given room, there are at least 4.6 users who have a handle that proclaims themselves to be The Devil His Own Self. Until Dorkness can find a new way to spell his name that someone else has not already taken, he's stuck with what he's got. Have sympathy for the prince of dorkness.
The Darth_Vaders Character's age: What do I look like? A Stars Wars trivia bucket? Player's age: Varies by player Race: Cyborg Sith Badass Mutha* Slave is. When the goths aren't talking about vampires and having gay "Ricean" vampire sex, they roam the chatrooms flopping and sighing and complaining about how much their lives suck in small font. . . if anyone is foolish enough to talk to these emotional vampires, they will bear the responsibility of talking them out of suicide because their parents told them to wash the dishes, or something.
Lady Megan Ayrwyn Character's Age: Don't ask a lady's age! Player's Age: Old enough to have a complex about it. Yet, she still lives with her parents. Race: Forest Elf Description: Megan Ayrwyn is Elf Only Inn's new co-host. She has a lot of hosting experience, because she loves to lord herself over people as much as Lord Elf does, but she doesn't want to put in all the work of maintaining her own chat room. Her resume is just full of rooms that she sucked dry with her humorless, by the book, preachy, leaf-eating self. Look both ways before crossing the street, never post under your friend's handle, and don't eat meat or you will feel her wrath! Many people think Megan was inspired by a specific person/co-host/etc.--she's actually not. I only named her Megan because it rhymes with Vegan.

Lord Elf
Character's age: 387
Player's age: 30
Race: True Elf
Description: Lord Elf is the host of Elf Only Inn. He hates all forms of fiction, except for Tolkien's works. He hates all roleplaying games, except for Dungeons and Dragons. He hates it when other people have fun without him, because it's HIS room after all. Although he is intelligent enough to speak properly and fake a bad medieval dialect, he's not very good at dealing with people. Which, of course, is another reason that he is a perfect host. He thinks he is a gift from the gods, sent down to teach everyone how to have fun his way. He thinks Lady Sunset Autumn Honey Purity Sunflower Rainbow is his woman.

The Blue Wizard of Forestdale
Character's age: 1387
Player's age: 30, but that doesn't mean he's Lord Elf.
Race: True Elf
Description: He's not Lord Elf. Honest. Just because he uses Lord Elf's picture with some obvious editing doesn't mean he is the host in disguise trying to weed out troublemakers from his room. Troublemakers might point out that he uses the same cheezy middle ages lingo, but they are misleading you. Damn troublemakers.

Lady Sunset Autumn Honey Purity Sunflower Rainbow
Character's age: 7000
Player's age: Unknown. Either 14 or 61.
Race: Star elf. Also a vampire (half)
Description: Lady Sunset Autumn Honey Purity Sunflower Rainbow (hereafter referred to as "m'lady") is a star elf vampire, but only half, which means she can still act like a normal person and only drinks blood if there are other vampires around and she wants to fit in. She can also still have babies and go out in the day time, oh, and did I mention she can still have babies? She's probably borne a child from every male character in Elf Only Inn. Not that you'd know that, because she doesn't talk very much, or very well. But that does not take away m'lady's charm, and neither does the fact that her name is excruciatingly long and forgettable. She uses a hot picture of some fantasy chick in her underwear, and that's all that really matters.

!Duke Commando!
Character's age: 21 (which means he can drink beer now)
Player's age: 17 (which doesn't stop him from drinking beer now)
Race: Action Hero
Description: Duke Commando likes video games, which he believes makes him an excellent roleplayer. He also likes pornography, which also makes him think he is excellent in more "private" RPs. He doesn't always spell so good, but who cares? He's got ass-kicking Kung-Fu grip action. When he is not trying to get laid or shoot someone, he's out to piss Lord Elf off.

goku666
Character's age: 16 (which means he can drive as well as have a really high power level)
Player's age: 13 (which means he likes Dragonball Z more than girls)
Race: Varies by spelling.
Description: He's like that cool guy from that Toonami TV show, but he's different and has more powers and he's cooler and he could punch you 699 times in one second. But no one ever believes him when he says he has punched them. They should be flying through mountains and stuff, but they don't. Someday people will take him seriously, so he tries his best to impress everyone by being a total pain in the ass. He even lets Duke Commando beat him up so that Duke Commando will like him even though he could punch Duke Commando to the moon with a karate kick because he has trained very hard. He also wants Lord Elf to like him and tell everyone else what a great gamer he is, which will never happen so long as he does not have pointy ears. But he keeps trying, bless his heart. You know who he is. He and his kind use every chat system known to man, whether it is a roleplaying one or not. I swear to God in Heaven, I peeked into the chatsystem once at www.gorillaz.com and yet ANOTHER Prince Vegeta was in there trying to blow up the planet with his 733T SAYAJIN POWERZ!

Nimoy
Character's age: 40
Player's age: 25
Race: Vulcan
Description: The fact that a Trekkie has so far proven to be the most level-headed person in Elf Only Inn should tell you something. Nimoy isn't actually a very good Trekkie, though. He can't go to the Star Trek chat rooms because he can't keep up with all their lingo and hot naked Klingon women scare him. The other Vulcans think he doesn't behave properly. Deep down he is afraid that he really isn't a Vulcan at all, because he likes girls. But he can never tell them this terrible secret. And besides, someone else already uses a Spock picture everywhere he goes. So he stays in Elf Only Inn for lack of anywhere else to play, and because everyone needs a sarcastic Vulcan hanging around to tell them everything they do is illogical.

Generic Users
Description: These people tend to hang out in other chat rooms instead of Elf Only Inn. They think it's weird to assume alternate identities and play out fantasy lives and romances with total strangers--if it's called "roleplaying". Do it in any other chat room and it's all good, baby!. They don't usually upload pictures of themselves, so they are identified by the generic man and woman icons. It's easier for me. Bleh.

The Lord of Dorkness
Character's age: As old as sin
Player's age: 17
Race: A Big, Red, Source of all Evil.
Description: When the Lord of Dorkness signed up and created his profile, he accidentally typed "Dorkness" instead of "Darkness". This is the only reason that he was able to register his profile, due to the fact that every other possible way to refer to the devil had already been taken by his predecessors. On any given chat system, at any given time, in any given room, there are at least 4.6 users who have a handle that proclaims themselves to be The Devil His Own Self. Until Dorkness can find a new way to spell his name that someone else has not already taken, he's stuck with what he's got. Have sympathy for the prince of dorkness.

The Darth_Vaders
Character's age: What do I look like? A Stars Wars trivia bucket?
Player's age: Varies by player
Race: Cyborg Sith Badass Mutha* Slave is. When the goths aren't talking about vampires and having gay "Ricean" vampire sex, they roam the chatrooms flopping and sighing and complaining about how much their lives suck in small font. . . if anyone is foolish enough to talk to these emotional vampires, they will bear the responsibility of talking them out of suicide because their parents told them to wash the dishes, or something.

Lady Megan Ayrwyn
Character's Age: Don't ask a lady's age!
Player's Age: Old enough to have a complex about it. Yet, she still lives with her parents.
Race: Forest Elf
Description: Megan Ayrwyn is Elf Only Inn's new co-host. She has a lot of hosting experience, because she loves to lord herself over people as much as Lord Elf does, but she doesn't want to put in all the work of maintaining her own chat room. Her resume is just full of rooms that she sucked dry with her humorless, by the book, preachy, leaf-eating self. Look both ways before crossing the street, never post under your friend's handle, and don't eat meat or you will feel her wrath!

Many people think Megan was inspired by a specific person/co-host/etc.--she's actually not. I only named her Megan because it rhymes with Vegan.